you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
