Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
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Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
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in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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