Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
