i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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