"it" just moved
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
