Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize