I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
