You smell like stripper and shame
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Found the puke drawer
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Randomize
