Redeem this text for a blowjob
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need a sexual gate keeper
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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