white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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