well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
