I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
