Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I AM VODKA MAN
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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