I accidentally had phone sex last night
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
