Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize
