I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
