Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
