How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
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It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
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Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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