I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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