We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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