these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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