smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
