All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Randomize
