those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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