One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Someone came in the potted fern
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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