Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
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