At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Randomize
