His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
