Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
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