PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
