are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
