oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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