FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
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