I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize