theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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