then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Randomize