Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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