if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
