thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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