At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
