Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
