Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
