Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
