im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
