my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
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