my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
