I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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