We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize