She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
