You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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