someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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