What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize