A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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