Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
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The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
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After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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