AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
