I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
