if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
