I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize