dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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