I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
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