I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
